We, the members of the Throop UU Church, affirm this Covenant of Right Relations to strengthen the bonds of trust and loyalty in our beloved community and to diminish the chances of hurt and disillusion in times of disagreement.
In adopting this covenant, we seek to create an atmosphere of honesty, respect, trust, gratitude, forgiveness, acceptance, and loyalty within our congregation. The goal of this covenant is to provide a clear statement as well as guidelines about how our values and principles can best be demonstrated through our actions. We aspire to strengthen our relationships and enlarge our sense of community. The well-being of our congregation depends on a sense of fellowship among and between all within our community — members, friends, minister, staff, and youth — whenever and wherever we worship, interact, or work together.

We realize that differences, strong feelings, and disagreements will arise. These can and should be the well-springs of change, creativity, and growth. When we practice right relations we reduce the level of conflict, misunderstanding, and hurt feelings that can occur when people speak passionately about subjects of importance to them. Right relations are the foundation on which a safe congregation is based. To this end, we pledge to govern our actions and our speech by the spirit and letter of this covenant.

We will be guided by respect and kindness to:

• Recognize our shared leadership and express gratitude for the efforts of others
  
• Use our individual values and gifts for the benefit of the whole Congregation
  
• Honor the commitments we make to individuals and the congregation as a whole
  
• Practice deep, open, and respectful listening
• Focus on the message not the messenger — critique ideas not people
  
• Allow sufficient time to identify, explore, and work through disagreements and conflicts.
• Seek and provide clarification regarding assumptions and expectations
• Share strongly held convictions openly rather than withholding input
• Use “I” statements and take responsibility for speaking our own truth. Share your own views and let others speak for themselves.
• Respect confidentiality by keeping confidences and not asking others to break theirs
  
• Be loyal to those who are absent and refrain from criticism of those who are not present
  
• Be true to our chosen path and support others on their journey
  
• Speak directly and privately with individuals with whom there is a misunderstanding, concern, or disagreement in an effort to resolve interpersonal disputes. Objective mediation may be used
  
• Use the relevant committee or channels to address disagreements with policies, programs, or finances
  
• Live out our Unitarian Universalist values with each other in our congregation (e.g., maintain appropriate interpersonal boundaries, practice behavior based on honor and respect, and forsake all offense such as bullying and sexual misconduct)
  

Although this document expresses our written promise, our true covenant exists in our day to day interactions with one another. In times of harmony, may it deepen our bonds with one another and in times of conflict, may it guide us in working through our differences. Our goal is the resolution of problems through solutions which serve both the common good and the good of the individual.

Adopted May 31, 2015 at the annual congregational meeting